Running Lost

Written by Rhonda Logan Bailey​ - Heartland Church - Fort Wayne, IN
Painting by Danyelle Yoder​

Running Lost
Resistance slashes deep as we run lost
through the fields
    incomplete
     and
      terrified

Seeking to escape the
familiar false safety of
    fear
     and
      doubt

Only to cross the Event Horizon
of a fear-spiral that
    cascades
      into
       hopelessness,
and layers us in concentric lies
     during the freefall,
          as we become unrecognizable;
prisoners of self-imposed bondage,
doing battle with the tyranny of our soul.

We hold onto the key just long enough
to give it away,
remaining hostage to the darkness
we’ve grown accustomed to.
Once again locked away,
     looking at the key
        just out of our reach.
Tears
  begin to fall
    as words take form.

We call out to Hope
as we cry out for help,
wanting to be whole again.
        Begging, pleading,
           “Hold onto me.
Help me, hear me, heal me.
            Holy, Holy, Holy.
      Hold me. Holy, hold me.”
In unity, we’re screaming out these phrases,
     yet we hear no other voices,
          we’re so convinced we are alone.

With unending toil, we tug in
agonized desperation,
      sobbing secret confessions
            and uttering private promises.
Feeling trapped in the vacuum of a
hopeless hell and left exhausted
from the struggle of pulling at the Bitterroot,

As we experience the root break off and burrow deeper,
nurtured
     by our own
           ill-advised resistance
it continues intertwining to strangle us and make bitter our souls.

In a weak whimper we cry, as we look up
from the lowest level of our pit and
time
    after
        time
You reveal Your grace.

When we listen to Your word and
begin hearing the harmony of the phrases,
we cross the threshold of trust,
and realize we are not alone.
Then we begin to let go of the lies
     we cling to,
          freeing our hands
               to grasp Yours.

When we allow You, You will
lift us from the depths of despair
and remove the Bitterroot,
turning it to dust that is
blown away,
     as far as the
          east is from the west.

Stagnation is exchanged
for the fresh flow of
Your living waters,
filling the void with a healing balm
of Your love,
     peace,
          hope,
               and joy.
That renders us renewed and complete..

~ Rhonda Logan Bailey

Please join me in this prayer:
May the truth of God’s love guide us all across the threshold of trust uniting the heart with the mind so we undeniably believe.
In the holy name of Jesus,
AMEN

Scripture references:
Luke 4:16-19 TPT
Isaiah 61:1-3 NIV
Psalm 102:20-22 MSG
Psalm 103:12 MSG